The first 6 months after graduating high-school were one of the most turbulent months of my life. I had taken a gap year to help myself figure things out. I was uncertain of where I would go for college, what I would pursue (at that time I had applied for various majors such as Architecture, Art and Media, Art History, Sociology etc) and what I would do during that gap year.
The last few months of high school (I did the International Baccalaureate) was rough, to put it simply. What felt like a century of time, passed by in a period of 4 months. I could barely sleep, eat; stress was a part of my everyday thoughts, I felt disappointed and useless if I wasn’t doing work 24/7. I have a long history of chronic insomnia in my family and I started getting problems with sleep when I was around 9–10 but that year I could barely clock 4 hours a day average. And some nights not at all (it obviously was not as bad as college now that I think of it).
So to cut to the doctor’s appointment after graduation, I still wasn’t able to sleep very well, thoughts of failure and insecurities about my future would muddle up together either in my dreams or in my thoughts while I laid wide awake every night, trying my hardest to sleep for even a second (I would take natural substances such as hot camomile tea, put essential oil on my forehead and temples, meditate; I prefer not to take medication for sleep). I went to the doctor for a general checkup as my mum and I do every year and after waiting to see the doctor after all the tests had been conducted and results found, we get to see the doctor at last.
My mum was in the room as I spoke with the doctor, a woman slightly older than my mother, had kids older than me, might even be a grandmother. I had been gaining weight, and I was unable to sleep most nights. She immediately cut me off to say “diet and exercise”. I told her that I hike and that I swim, not as regularly as I should, but I had exercised much less than then but never experienced fluctuating weight like that.